Sharing
A Story of Faith and Hope
About a month ago as I was sitting in Disneyland-people watching. (I love to people watch), when my phone beeped. It was a message from a friend. She asked if I would present my survivor story. I called her back and accepted. Thank you for the opportunity. Disneyland, the place where dreams can come true. During my airplane ride back home I panicked and thought I’m calling her back and tell her no way. I can’t do this, but here I am and here it goes! The funny thing is Disneyland is kind of where my story began.
On Valentine’s Day of 2000 I went to my Dr. for my check up and was told everything was fine and I should get another mammogram in 6 months. About 1 month later I was getting ready for bed and I discovered a very large hard lump on my left breast. The hair on my arms stood straight up and I knew immediately it was cancer. Funny thing was that I had never ever done a self breast exam. I called the Dr. the next morning for an appointment and she scheduled a mammogram. That same afternoon I was told the Mammogram was suspicious and an ultra sound would need to be done the next day. After the ultrasound The Dr. came in and told me that they would be contacting me very soon. Our family had scheduled a vacation to Disneyland that week and the Dr’s told me to go, not to worry and they would contact me when I returned. Enjoy your self and enjoy your vacation. Right. I spent the whole week checking that lump to see if it was growing or hey maybe it had gone away. When we returned, the Dr. scheduled me for a needle biopsy. My suspicions were confirmed it was a malignancy. Cancer.
I would need to contact an oncologist, and a surgeon, as soon as possible. I had so many questions and so many decisions that I needed to make that I blanked out and I do not remember much after that. My husband said all I continuously told everyone is that I had to make it to my Daughter’s graduation in one month. I lost my hair two days before her Graduation day. I was so sick that day that I really do not remember much. The day after my diagnosis my Pastor and his wife, came to the house and brought me a stack of books to read. The Pastor’s wife and I have shared many books since we have been friends but I never thought that we would be sharing The Breast Book by Dr. Susan Love. Teh Pastor’s wife was diagnosed four months before me. I have however learned that knowledge replaces fear. I now have an education that I never asked for! And I also belong to an exclusive club that I never asked to join.
My Pastor and and his wife were great sources of comfort and they helped me with some of the decisions I needed to make concerning my medical team. I did choose to change surgeons because I was not comfortable with the surgeon I had seen after my diagnosis. Second opinions are OK! This is YOUR body and YOUR life. My Pastor’s wife had a wonderful surgeon and oncologist that she was seeing. The oncologist I chose prescribed 2 chemo treatments prior to surgery and then 6 more treatments after surgery because of the size of the tumor and the aggressiveness of the cancer. Adriamyacin, Cytoxin and Taxol. Radiation treatment would then follow. The “clean up crew” was what the radiation Doctor called himself. 36 treatments were prescribed.
I am grateful for my doctor’s and their expertise. I knew they were there to offer me the best care available. I remember being at peace with the decisions I made.
I do remember when I received the phone call that I had cancer I told myself Cancer starts with CAN. I can do cancer and I can survive. I can and I will. I never ever doubted the outcome. However I knew I could not do it alone. I needed support- my Lord, my family, friends, and medical team. And I really needed my dear husband, who is my rock.
My husband was a great source of strength to me during my ordeal. I think we didn’t know how strong we both could be until we were tested. When I was weak, he was strong and vice versa. I don’t recall a time when we were both falling apart at the same time - thankfully! Today, now that life has returned to normal, there is an underlying quiet gratitude between us for the fact that I am healthy and happy and that the quality of our life is once again so good. We have much to be grateful for. We are blessed.
I have been a member of Immanuel Lutheran Church now for 20 years. My church friends were there for me preparing meals, sitting with me and holding my hand when I was too sick to leave the house, and every single day there were get well cards in my mailbox. However what I appreciated the most was that I always knew I was covered by their prayers. I had people praying for me that I have never even met. This became critical in my ability to handle the challenge of breast cancer. I did my part to ensure that I had the best medical treatment and that I followed doctor’s orders, but from there I had the faith that IF I was supposed to get through this and remain healthy, I would with God’s help. Each day I thank God for my health and the blessings that I receive and take it one day at a time.
That was 6 years ago—and now I have work to do! I have watched too many suffer and way too many lose the battle to this dreadful disease. Our Grandmothers, Mothers, sisters’, aunts and friends. I lost my Mom in 1998 to breast cancer and there is not a day that goes by that I do not miss her.
I began volunteering with the American Cancer Society 1 year after my diagnosis. I am a Reach to Recovery volunteer and enjoy visiting with newly diagnosed women. 2 years later I trained as a volunteer to help at the Cancer Resource Center at the New Mexico Cancer Center. I now spend Wednesday afternoons surrounded by a group of strong, courageous, beautiful women who are in the battle of their lives and are in need of some support. We help them with choosing their wigs, turbans, scarves, bras, breast prosthesis fittings and give them a shoulder to cry on if they so choose. We also offer the Look Good Feel Better Program at 4:15 and then the laughter and the ooh’s and ahh’s begin. Watching the women see themselves for the first time in the mirror after their make-over with their new wigs and make-up is wonderful. What a joy! I love my Wednesday afternoons- I love being there. I am blessed by spending time with these women.
Now when I think back during my early diagnosis and treatment (when it was so hard) the emotions come back to me, but I realized we are all going to have bumps down the road of life and that this was just one of mine. This experience has made me a stronger, better woman. I probably have more compassion and empathy for people going through tough times, but at the same time I have less tolerance for people who are negative and complain about insignificant things. Life is too precious to waste our time and energy on things that don’t really matter. At this time could I please have all fellow survivors please stand so that we may applaud you.
As I said before Cancer begins with can---- I can walk for money for research--- I can walk to help find a cure--- I can walk for funding for the Cancer Resource Center and I can walk for those who can’t . I can and I will if the Lord is willing. Thank you and I hope to see YOU walking on April 29th. God Bless you.